Sic Semper Tyrannis. Infamous words. Although we’re not going all John Wilkes Booth on anyone, in order to combat despicable behavior and violently offensive comments from Tyrant Snowboards, a number of snowboard bloggers are using the awesome power of the internet to spread the message: The world would be a better place without Tyrant Snowboards. Do not spend your money with them, do not rep their brand or ride their boards.
It started like this: The Angry Snowboarder ragged on what he considered bad marketing. Some reps from Tyrant Snowboards responded in the comments there and also on snowboardingforum.com, and Angry published a follow-up piece this morning (which Tyrant had not responded to at press-time).
Angry’s initial comments (in his typical pull-no-punches style) were basically saying that if you go to SIA and rep your brand as “da illest”, it’s just not awesome marketing, and you should probably get some people who know the product and can talk to its strengths a little better than Ol’ Dirty Bastard could. The owner’s initial reply was epic failure in terms of PR, promotion, and professionalism. I’ll split it up in to bite-size pieces for ya. He begins like this:
The Quote:
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Translation:
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Dude. Please! Someone call the Waambulance right now!
Setting aside the fact that violence never actually settles disputes, or determines who is right or who is wrong, and that violence is commonly accepted to be “such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations”, calling someone a pussy for “sitting behind a computer” and then threatening that person from behind your very own computer and challenging them to a fist-fight is the pinnacle of childish internet behavior.
Moving on, The Owner continues:
You sound like the biggest f*cking geek in the world. and why is snowboarding the whitest sport around? you ignorant racist f*cking pig. i bet your about 5’5, 300lbs, and definately (sic) not getting annnyyy pussy.
Ignorant, racist, f*cking pig? Really? Just… wow. I’ll address the “ignorant f*cking pig” comments in a moment. But as for “racist” … Snowboarding is one of the “whitest sport around” with perhaps a few exceptions like Polo and Fox Hunting. It isn’t a value judgment. It’s a freaking fact of demographics. White kids, white adults, white old people comprise the super-majority of snowboarders (and skiers). Doesn’t mean it should be that way, or that we want to keep it that way, but for now, that’s just how it is.
your a fake f*cking loser who PROBABLY doesnt (sic) ride at all. any real snowboarder sure as f*ck wouldnt (sic) be runnin their mouth about that gangster shit that we rep with pride. Thats (sic) our style…
I’m pretty sure Angry rides in excess of 100 days a year. But whatever. Nobody cares about your gangsta tall-tee ghetto gown style. I personally don’t like it, but I really don’t give a shit if you want to look like a clown on the slopes. It’s not your “style” that’s the problem, what began as a lousy marketing and sales pitch, has been totally dwarved in significance by the company’s offensive responses. But it doesn’t stop there.
ride or die and f*ck what you heard cause until you hear it from us, your (sic) just another broke ass jealous cock sucking paper pushin f*cking fag. and yes, that is the guy i want reppin my company, he obviously gets our point across to the real riders buying our boards.
Professionally, isnt (sic) that all that matters…..?
…i could go on all day rippin your ass apart. go f*ck yourself ass jockey. i’ll reiterate this for the angry douche, i will meet you ANYWHERE face to face. Hate on haters, we eat this shit up. infamy is still fame Tyrant fo life!!!!!!
As if there is anything more ignorant and piggish than launching in to a misogynistic and virulently homophobic (cf. ass-jockey, cock sucking, f*cking fag) rant and measuring one’s mettle by the amount of “pussy” they get? Charming.
The great thing about this whole issue is, when people show their true colors like this the rest of us can know exactly where they stand in terms of moral character. This guy behind Tyrant snowboards is the absolute bottom of the barrel in that regard. If you didn’t know anything about Tyrant before last week (I didn’t), hopefully you know enough about them now to never spend a penny of your hard-earned money on their products.
I was really gonna sit this one out, but Angry convinced me of the awesome power of social ostracism and public shaming. Definitely check out Angry’s blog, but there are a few more takes on this over at Deserts don’t snow and Shred the Gnar Brah!
